Dating yourself

Martin Seligman is one of the gurus of the positive psychology movement and he has spent years studying the science of wellbeing.

He has uncovered the secrets to living a great life in a sustainable and rewarding manner.

Backstory: I first began processing the idea of dating myself as I was going through a major, major breakup last year. I was in hell because I knew in my deepest deep that I was just going to have to be me. Without much of a choice, and in a last ditch effort to pull myself up from the pile of potato chip bags and Ray Lamontagne CD’s, I took myself on a date.

By recording your emotional positivity each day you can track your progress and observe any peaks and troughs.

I had been dating this guy for a steady period of time when he decided to call it quits.

I was devastated and hurt until I caught myself throwing an endless pity party and didn’t like it.

On top of that, they found the similarity was established at the beginning of a relationship, as the study included people who’d known each other for years as well as those who’d only known each other for a short amount of time.“We found that people in relationships are similar to one another in all kinds of ways: attitudes and values, personality traits, behaviours like exercise,” says co-lead author Angela Bahns, an assistant professor of psychology at Wellesley College in Massachusetts.

The big take-away, Bahns says, is that you shouldn’t expect to change your partner.

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